Really???

   I happen to be quite fond of texting. I have found that I prefer to text as apposed to calling someone. However there are some things that need to be delivered through a phone call or in person. I give you that opinion to share this story with you:

   Back in May I got a job as a house cleaner. Paid $9/hr and .33 cents to the gallon gas reimbursement. I love to clean, therefore I was loving my job. However things within this small owned business unraveled and started showing the amateurism about it all. My boss never had the schedule up on time. At times I would have to wait til 9PM on a Sunday night to find out if I worked Monday morning. On multiple occasions my checks were not given to me before 5PM (which is when the majority of financial institutions close). I would often be left without proper cleaning supplies or keys to get into the houses I was cleaning. Even with having to wait til Sunday evening for my schedule, I would find that my schedule was incomplete and be told that I was supposed to got to a particular house that wasn't even put on my schedule. The worst of all this was my boss would never take responsibility for her mistakes. 

    Not only did these situations bother me but they were bothering the girls I was working with as well. Some were being sent to houses where cats reside when they had a severe allergy to cats, while others weren't getting their gas reimbursement. I no longer enjoyed my job or took my boss seriously when she chose to evaluate me and another co-worker in an unprofessional manner through a joint E-MAIL. I could see all her flaws and she mine. I quickly lost all respect for my employer.

    Finally the end of the road came. I went to a house up in Farmington that was ridiculously horrible and dirty. There were dirty clothes everywhere, moldy dishes throughout the house and in the sink, and children's toys scattered in every room. There were graham crackers smooshed into the beds (which I had to make) and stains all over the dining table. I was only supposed to be at this house for 3 hours. I was there for 5. The next day the woman who owned the house called my boss and said her house didn't even look like it had been cleaned! I was furious! What made me even more furious was neither boss of mine went to check off the house to see what the client was talking about. Instead they went completely off the word of the client and fired me. I get it, they're going to value a client over me but I know what I cleaned and I  know I did a good job. To make situations worse they fired me through TEXT MESSAGE!!! Completely unprofessional! So instead of fighting back I simply wrote my boss this E-mail:

Holly,

   I wanted to take a moment and share with you some thoughts that not only I have had, but other cleaners have had as well. Trying to defend that I did all of what the client said I didn't do is pointless. I know you won't believe me over a client. I know what I cleaned and I know that I spent 5 hours at that house when I was only supposed to be there for 3. I also know that you value your clients above your cleaners, which is your first mistake. There is a reason you have a high turn-over rate and that is because you do not treat your cleaners with the care and respect they deserve. Your business is amateur and the more you continue to treat your cleaners as if they are your last priority the more your business will sink and fail. I have worked very hard and have seen no reward for it. Others have the same complaints. Even clients are mentioning to the cleaners about how much your turn-over rate bothers them. People like to see the same girls cleaning their house. However what bothers me most is you had Mat fire me through TEXT MESSAGE instead of calling me or even doing it yourself. That is completely unprofessional and disrespectful. I hope the best for you and Mat but more-so I hope the best for the girls who are continuing to put up with your unprofessional-ism.

Kyla 

Holly owns the business and Mat is a business manager she hired. She didn't even have the decency to fire me herself over the phone or in person but instead had poor Mat (Who is only a year older than me, might I add) fire me instead over text message. Needless to say I am upset for the reasons I was fired but I am relieved to be free of this ridiculous game they call a business.

   

Shameful Crushes

Oh goodness do I have shameful crushes! Its odd to know what they are too. I'll show you :)



Lets start with the less creepy shall we?

Eddie Izzard. This one he is some what normal looking right? Kinda good-looking but what really gets me going for him is this:

Weird yes? Lets continue

Grave Robber from Repo! The Genetic Opera

Woo! Talk about sexy in a creepy way! I LOVE it!

And the best and creepiest I save for last:

That's right ladies! Dr. Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror Picture Show. Just watched it with my dad today and oh body is he HOTT! I never knew Tim Curry could look so GOOD!

My dear friend Addie told me she could see me in a relationship with a transvestite...What do you think? 

Either way these men are pretty good looking. I wish I could look that hot in my own clothes :P

5 Years

Usually with these blogs (that I seem to write every year on December 15) I am very nostalgic and depressed. However, this year I would rather discuss the better things.

In 2005 Dad suffered an industrial accident. He fell 20 ft off of a scaffolding at work. Since, he's had a surgery on his right side, gained a bit of weight, has needed oxygen 24/7, and has been considerably less active than before. However, this year he's made a turn around. He's lost about 20-25 lbs and has been going to physical rehab almost on a daily basis while also taking me to work and my nephew to school, he's quit working to improve his health, and has made many realizations about the help he needs. He may not be functioning the way he did 5 years ago but he is better (in my opinion) than he has been the past several. I love my dad very much. He is true inspiration to me. I know how hard some things are on him and I know he struggles but while those things are difficult to get through he still gets through them. He continues to plug away at the things that need improvement. Good job Dad! I love you :)

Grateful

   Unlike all my friends on Facebook, I've been lazy and haven't posted a thing I am grateful for. So I decided to do it the lazy way and post all 30 things I am grateful for, with elaboration, just to make it seem like I'm not TOO lazy.

1. My family: Of course family is going to be first! My family is why I am who I am. I think about each and everyone of them on a daily basis. I may not have always been close to everyone in my family when I was younger but I feel a particular bond with all of them now.
2. Talent: I have talents. I am proud to say that I have taught myself every instrument I know. Clarinet, piano, guitar, and even my voice I have picked up on my own. I also have to credit my dad though. He's a natural just like me :)
3. Technology: Not only for entertainment but for much bigger uses. For example, getting in a car accident, just whip out the cell and call 911. Things like that.
4. My body: It may not be beautiful or the ideal body but its still a good one. I am capable of fixing things around the house, going to work, driving a car, etc... Without my body, I would be NO-body...cheesy? YES
5. Addie: I would say "my friends" but with every passing week I realize more and more who has truly been there for me and who wouldn't notice if I moved to Spain. Addie has helped me so much this year. I wish I would have discovered her friendship sooner but if you wish in one hand and poo in the other, which is gonna fill up faster? Anywho, Addie has helped build my self-esteem and been there for me when no one else was. I love this girl and her family. She is definitely a rare treasure to me.
6. Work: I may hate going sometimes and I might be exhausted afterwords but its a simple cause and effect situation here. I go to work (cause) and they pay me for it (effect). Simple.
7. Education: I may not have graduated with my class but I definitely tried and I learned many things. I may not be a genius but I know enough to get me by. The best kind of smarts I have is street smarts.
8. Music: I am a very musical person. I love all sorts of music. I think, without it, I would have gone nutso by now. Music is a great vent and occupies my mind when i wander a little too deep.
9. Sean: Yes, I have another friend to individually thank. He knows me almost as well as Addie does. He is a very sensitive and patient person who has always been very compassionate. He takes problems that we discuss and analyzes them from every aspect he may think I don't see. He's give great advice.
   
10. Religion: Not just the one I was raised in but all sorts of religion. It opens up possibilities for everyone. Its an interesting field to study and I think the human race would be quite dull if there was no religion whatsoever.
    
11. Life: Life is full of rough spots, mine just happens to be this entire year, but nonetheless, I am grateful for it. It has been graciously given to me by God, my parents, whoever you want to believe gives you life and has been entrusted to me to take care of. I am able to choose things for myself, make my own mistakes and learn from them as well as being rewarded for the right choices I make. Life is beautiful even if its gloomy sometimes.
12. Death: Even though it saddens me to see a family member or friend go I am grateful for death. It is a mystery to some. It guarantees us peace, if we've lived in good ways that is. However difficult it maybe for us to see people we care for pass away, it makes those who are still alive stronger. As my wonderful grandmother has said, "It won't be easy, but we can do hard."
13. My siblings: They tormented me in my younger years. You'd think I should hate them but I don't. Wanna know why? Because I'm only ever going to get one brother and one sister. I have a brother-in-law but that's kinda different. Why waste your time on petty differences or childhood pranks when you could be bonding with your siblings? I promise, you'll need them when you get older. I may have a hard time saying it sometimes but I love you Big Brudda and Big Sistah!
14. My Brother-in-Law: For knockin my sister up and marrying her :) It has made her so happy. He is a good father, husband and brother-in-law. Plus, he got her outta the house :P
15. Love: Also another great mystery in life but I believe those who've found it at least once, its not so much of a mystery. I'm talking about TRUE love, not having a new boyfriend every week or two but true love. The kind of love that makes you feel like nothing in this world matters except for being with that person for the rest of your life. I've felt that love, and I am grateful for it, even if I don't have it anymore.
16. Contacts: I'm blind, I can't see without them. Gotta appreciate the little things too.
17. Facebook: it has allowed me to reconnect with people I never thought I would/could see again. I like keeping in touch with people I used to know and trying my best to be involved in their lives and be the best friend I know how to be.
    
18. The Bell family: I grew up with this cute little girl. Her family was in my ward when I was growing up. Our parents met and this cute little girl became my best friend. Even though many miles separate us I am still grateful I had a friend like Samantha to grow up with. Thanks Bells!
19. My Therapist: She has brought a lot of things to my attention. Fixing them is a project but at least she's made me aware of reoccurring patterns in my life. I do believe she helps, even when I don't feel up to going. 
20. My Niece: She is my mini me. How can I not be grateful for that!? Maybe with any luck I won't have children like myself because I have her running around terrorizing my sister instead :P you think?
21. My Nephews: They are so terribly cute! I have never seen little boys that look more adorable. Every time I look at any of my sister's kids I automatically get sent back to my childhood. When I see their faces I can visualize my sister's face from 10 or 15 years ago. Even though that was the time we didn't get along I still looked up to her, and she had a pretty adorable face too :)
22. Indoor Plumbing: Because outhouses are kinda gross (especially if you're in one getting tipped) and because I have a hard time squatting.
    
23. Holidays: Some holidays don't really have a purpose but I'm still grateful because I don't have to work on those days. Oh! And it gives me a good excuse to see extended family, not like I really need an excuse :)
24. Doctors: Without doctors I probably wouldn't have either of my parents right now, and they make child birth much easier now-a-days. 
    
25. Living in Utah: It may be cold but not as cold as Idaho. I may live in a city but not a huge city like NYC or LA. I may live in a desert but its not too terribly hot. I love living in good ol' SLC.
26. Ozzy: My dog is so cute. Dogs are also very intuitive. He can always tell when I'm sad or when I need my space. He's so tiny and cute, it makes cuddling very enjoyable. He makes me happy.
27. The Inventor of Compressed O2: Without that my dad probably would be immobile and probably quite depressed. His chances of surviving this long after his accident is probably slim if it weren't for compressed oxygen.
28. Teachers: For continuing to teach children (Some more horrible than others) for a terrible rate and in a messed up educational system. They look at the greater good they are providing to children across the nation. Thank you for hangin in there.
29. The 5 Senses: I am very happy to have all 5 senses. I know there are some who don't have them. I don't think I'd be the same person if I didn't have all 5.

     Last but totally not least
   30. My parents: Yes, they are part of family but they get their own little branch in the family. I am grateful for the way they raised me. It may not have been perfect but it was good enough for me to be thankful to them and dedicate time in my prime years to them. I would do nearly anything for these two individuals because they've made me strong and built a wonderful home for me to grow up in. I have good values and those street smarts I was telling you about? Yeah, that came from them. By being honest with me throughout my life I could also learn from their mistakes and take their advice knowing that they've probably done worse things than I have in my youthful and rebellious phases. I know I can tell them anything and never be judged by them. My parents love me as a parent should, Unconditionally. For that, I will always show the same love in return. I love you mom and dad and I will forever be grateful for being blessed with you in my life.

Grandpa

   On November 18, 2010 the greatest man I've ever encountered passed away at 81-years-old. This great man was my grandfather. I heard stories and memories that made me even more amazed with him. He read so many books and was so profound and passionate about his faith. He loved so many but more-so was loved by many. He never made an enemy and could befriend even the hardest of people to get along with. He was quite the jokester and always had such soft hands. He didn't speak much but when he did whatever he said was either profound or hilarious. He could tell stories better than anyone I know. He had such character and greatness. He truly was an amazing man.
   The funeral service was beautiful. The life sketch my 3 beautiful aunts presented was so touching. Afterwords I got the privilege to play the piano for the grandchildren's musical number. It was the combination of I am a Child of God, Love is Spoken Here, and Bring the World His Truth. It was a beautiful number that my aunt Cindy helped me put together. The stake president and bishop spoke and the family choir sang. At the grave site there was a military service. It was a beautifully sad day.
   My grandpa was an extraordinary man. I love him very much and I believe he's in a better place where he can walk, run, jump and do all the things he hasn't been able to for years. I firmly believe I will see him again and he will greet me with his open tender arms. I love you grandpa! Run among the angels <3

What I Got

Its about 2 AM and I'm wide awake. I've been thinking a lot about the changes I've encountered in the past couple of months. I'm single, I've lost weight, gained amazing friends (and interests), etc.. If I look back on the last 4 months I see a particular dark patch in my life, yet I have had the time of my life. Maybe I'm getting over it all or maybe I'm just shoving it to the back of my mind like most problems but right now I'm pretty damn happy.

I've come to realize how strong I really am. I think this year has proven that I'm an emotional viking. I may have episodes but I know I have to seek help (and tried before I had any sort of episode). That's an amazing achievement in itself. I know I need help and I can't expect it from my friends or family. I am exhausted right now but I think in about a week or two (hell maybe a couple of days) I can be able to slow down and breathe again. I'm already starting to feel like I can be my normal cheerful self again. I can finally snap out of it. I don't feel like crying all the time. I can take a particularly good moment or happy thought and cling onto it instead of instantly having it flee my mind as fast as it entered my line of thought. I may have some lingering feelings of all sorts but that's to be expected in my situation.

I've sort of been jotting down this list of reasons in my head. Reasons why I'm scared, depressed, happy... Scared because I don't want to put my guard down just yet (to anyone), depressed because of how this has all turned out, and happy because of my friends, our parties, my family, but most of all myself. I think its safe to say through the anger, frustration, sadness, and depression the good finally outweighs the bad. I've gained a kind of confidence that I've never known before. I have said things, done things, and thought things I would have never done before because I've lacked this confidence in myself. I've taken charge of what I want and gone after it. Maybe my life isn't perfect right now but its what I want. For once I want what I already have.

My Birthday

My birthdays are usually terrible. Have been for several years. Even though people have tried extra hard to make them good it seems like something always happens that makes it bad...

Well I'm pleased to inform all my family and friends who've tried so hard throughout the years that this birthday has been phenomenal! It has been a non-stop celebration of my birth from the 14th to today. I got Reach from my family on the 14th (AMAZING) and my folks took me out to dinner on the 15th. They threw me a surprise birthday party on the 18th. My aunts took me to dinner this last Friday and we had a fantastic party on Saturday.

I must say that I have an absolutely amazing family that I am SO grateful for. My parents always being patient and understanding; my sister always there for me to make me smile; and my brother and his quirky shirts...I couldn't ask for a better family. I'm best friends with my sister and still look to my dad as the super hero he is. They have tried incredibly hard to make every September 15th a great day. I appreciate their efforts and love them so much.

I think this year was so fantastic because, even though I've hit the hardest speed-bump in my life, I have the greatest friends to help me through it. They're all great people. I have NEVER had a better group of friends. They make me happy and I have good times with them. I tend to forget all the problems and anger when I'm with them and just let it go and have fun. I'm so lucky to have them, its very rare to find so many great friends.

I have such a great life. Thanks everyone for the best birthday ever!