Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Dad is Coming Home!
So Dad went out of town Monday, October 3rd. That was the day after I broke up with my boyfriend. Dad has been gone since that time on a trip to Idaho. Kind of poor timing on my part with the whole boyfriend situation and all but it is what it is right? Anywho... Its been a lonely but growing experience for me. Over the last 10 days I've learned to manage my negative feelings and to keep myself above water. Of course I've had friends to rely on (Thank heavens!) but for the most part I've been spending a lot of time alone.
I've really gotten to know myself over Dad's vacation. I can really see the things I need to improve on and the things I love about myself. I love how stubborn I am. I don't know why but I love it. I like that I can play piano or guitar for hours and learn new songs. I love that I am capable of entertaining myself. At the same time, I need to improve how I receive other people's feelings, become more motivated, and really push forward with my life. For the most part, I kinda like me. Its a strange and new feeling for me.
Of course I'm not completely over the sadness that comes with a break-up but the only thing that cures that is time. Its not the most pleasant of feelings but there's not much you can do but ride it out; remembering the good times but considering the bad as well. I do love him still and I do miss him, but being together isn't what is going to make our lives successful right now. I just need to grow from the experience. I'll get by with a little help from my friends ;P- Gotta love The Beatles!
Although I've really grown over this time I've had to myself, I think I'm ready to have my Dad back home. I really missed not being able to see him :(
I've really gotten to know myself over Dad's vacation. I can really see the things I need to improve on and the things I love about myself. I love how stubborn I am. I don't know why but I love it. I like that I can play piano or guitar for hours and learn new songs. I love that I am capable of entertaining myself. At the same time, I need to improve how I receive other people's feelings, become more motivated, and really push forward with my life. For the most part, I kinda like me. Its a strange and new feeling for me.
Of course I'm not completely over the sadness that comes with a break-up but the only thing that cures that is time. Its not the most pleasant of feelings but there's not much you can do but ride it out; remembering the good times but considering the bad as well. I do love him still and I do miss him, but being together isn't what is going to make our lives successful right now. I just need to grow from the experience. I'll get by with a little help from my friends ;P- Gotta love The Beatles!
Although I've really grown over this time I've had to myself, I think I'm ready to have my Dad back home. I really missed not being able to see him :(
Monday, October 10, 2011
Its Been a While
Its been quite sometime since I last posted. There's been a lot happening in recent months, such as my mother leaving our family to go with another man back in August.... Exactly one week before my Dad's birthday. I'm not going to go into full detail about the ordeal just out of respect for my dad and our family privacy, but I will say that I am angry. It has been a brutal trial to go through considering I had to see all the melt-downs and act of self destruction. I feel like the family has actually gotten to an OK place, but many things are still unresolved.
Secondly, I was dating this guy for about 5 months. He's not your typical Mr. Perfect but he was a diamond in the rough. He had lots of baggage but the way he made me feel was worth it. Unfortunately he and I couldn't seem to find a happy medium with our arguments. They were constant and not far enough in between. Our break up has been less than easy. He had relapsed on a drug he is addicted to (and hadn't used while we were together), and attempted to hang himself. That essentially landed him back into prison. Some people say that will make the break-up easier on me...It really doesn't. We haven't really had closure and the only way to communicate is through letters. Its hard trying to move past someone when you blame yourself and think of things you could've done differently. Its especially hard when you still love someone and they're sent to prison. Its been hard for me to move past.
Secondly, I was dating this guy for about 5 months. He's not your typical Mr. Perfect but he was a diamond in the rough. He had lots of baggage but the way he made me feel was worth it. Unfortunately he and I couldn't seem to find a happy medium with our arguments. They were constant and not far enough in between. Our break up has been less than easy. He had relapsed on a drug he is addicted to (and hadn't used while we were together), and attempted to hang himself. That essentially landed him back into prison. Some people say that will make the break-up easier on me...It really doesn't. We haven't really had closure and the only way to communicate is through letters. Its hard trying to move past someone when you blame yourself and think of things you could've done differently. Its especially hard when you still love someone and they're sent to prison. Its been hard for me to move past.
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