So I've decide I have to be a masochist because I keep subjecting myself to people who have never been good to me or for me. I guess I'm naive in believing someone when they say they've changed or will change. I just want to believe people when they say that. Although it has become apparent to me that some will never change and if that be the case I refuse to bestow my presence on them any longer. I'm a great friend and I will not allow myself to be walked all over. Things that were said are so completely baffling to me that I can't believe that my "friend" spoke those words. How dare she pretend that she knows how I felt 3 years ago? I know I'm not the first person in the world to go through a break-up and if she'd actually been there for me (like a true friend should) she'd know that isn't how I felt about it. Put her in the middle? BS. Someone needs to move past the drama and get over themselves. You can't come to me with the "problems" you have with me, I'll publicize the ones I have with you.
That being said I just want people to know that boys are proven to be better friends. I have a handful of amazing guy friends who have been there for me and haven't ever done me wrong (or if they have I got over it quickly). They're my boys! Sometimes they say stupid thing but I know that's just in their nature every now and again to have stupid moments. I can easily brush aside their sometimes harsh comments because that's who they are. Yet girls say things to intentionally be hurtful (I'm guilty of this too). I can't stand the drama that comes from having certain girlfriends. I can handle drama in small doses, but when you have a girlfriend who is addicted to it, it becomes a bit too much to handle. Boys are simpler and drama-free. So there you have it; boys are better!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
I'll Miss You
So most people know that Tyler and I are no longer Tyler and I anymore. Its nothing either of us did in particular but we just grew apart over time. I know people are probably expecting this blog to be about who hurt who, what happened, or if we're going to be friends...but I'm not doing that. I'm not posting the typical break-up blog that everyone seems to do. Instead I want to do a reflection of the past 3 years and send a message to family.
We didn't exactly have the best of beginnings. Again not going into too much detail we almost didn't make it past the first 3 months. However, no matter the obstacles that were in our way, we found our way through the chaos and built a relationship. The first year was great. He went to my family reunion for the first time and I went to Lagoon with his family. There were plenty of activities on both sides to take part of. Sometimes certain people made it hard to enjoy ourselves and each others company but we managed. Second year was good too. He moved in to my parents' house with me. We supported each other in so much and we experienced a relationship of living in each others presence. Third year was stressful. I was dealing with the battle between my parents and Worker's Comp and he was attending school while working. Overall I think we had a great relationship. He was always kind and loving even at times I didn't deserve it. I will always think fondly of him and what we had. I hope to remain friends.
Through this whole thing I've worried what each family will think of me. I've come to a point now where I don't lose sleep over it. If some choose to think poorly of me, so be it. Yes I initiated this but that doesn't make me a horrible person. I've already had a conversation with his step-mother. She made me feel so much better. I love her very much and I will miss her and not being able to see her as often. Thank you Gail. His dad's family has made me feel so welcome over the past 3 years that I really felt like they were my second family. I was always eager to see them and go to functions with them. I hope I still remain welcome at those functions (with Tyler's permission of course). They will always remain close to my heart.
I know that his mother and I haven't seen eye to eye on more than one occasion but I will also miss her. Her and her family have shown me such great hospitality. The parties and gatherings were always fun. The jokes and humorous incidents that occured will always stay with me. So many of them reminded me of members of my own family. One uncle reminded me of one of my own uncles that can always make me laugh, and one aunt reminded me of my sister. Their warmth toward me will not be forgotten.
But most of all I will miss Tyler. I will give him as much time and space as he needs but I hope to always have him in my life. I will miss seeing his grumpy face in the mornings and his ability to make me smile even at my worst of times. He has been my best friend for 3 years and I hope it doesn't stop here. I still care deeply for him and I always will. I will always keep the memory of him close to my heart and love him as long as he allows me to. I hope the pain subsides and life will get better for the both of us.
We didn't exactly have the best of beginnings. Again not going into too much detail we almost didn't make it past the first 3 months. However, no matter the obstacles that were in our way, we found our way through the chaos and built a relationship. The first year was great. He went to my family reunion for the first time and I went to Lagoon with his family. There were plenty of activities on both sides to take part of. Sometimes certain people made it hard to enjoy ourselves and each others company but we managed. Second year was good too. He moved in to my parents' house with me. We supported each other in so much and we experienced a relationship of living in each others presence. Third year was stressful. I was dealing with the battle between my parents and Worker's Comp and he was attending school while working. Overall I think we had a great relationship. He was always kind and loving even at times I didn't deserve it. I will always think fondly of him and what we had. I hope to remain friends.
Through this whole thing I've worried what each family will think of me. I've come to a point now where I don't lose sleep over it. If some choose to think poorly of me, so be it. Yes I initiated this but that doesn't make me a horrible person. I've already had a conversation with his step-mother. She made me feel so much better. I love her very much and I will miss her and not being able to see her as often. Thank you Gail. His dad's family has made me feel so welcome over the past 3 years that I really felt like they were my second family. I was always eager to see them and go to functions with them. I hope I still remain welcome at those functions (with Tyler's permission of course). They will always remain close to my heart.
I know that his mother and I haven't seen eye to eye on more than one occasion but I will also miss her. Her and her family have shown me such great hospitality. The parties and gatherings were always fun. The jokes and humorous incidents that occured will always stay with me. So many of them reminded me of members of my own family. One uncle reminded me of one of my own uncles that can always make me laugh, and one aunt reminded me of my sister. Their warmth toward me will not be forgotten.
But most of all I will miss Tyler. I will give him as much time and space as he needs but I hope to always have him in my life. I will miss seeing his grumpy face in the mornings and his ability to make me smile even at my worst of times. He has been my best friend for 3 years and I hope it doesn't stop here. I still care deeply for him and I always will. I will always keep the memory of him close to my heart and love him as long as he allows me to. I hope the pain subsides and life will get better for the both of us.
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